Terrible cracker jokes

Terrible cracker jokes:

Did you hear about the two ships that collided at sea? One was carrying red paint and the other was carrying blue paint. All the sailors ended up being marooned.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.

What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper.

Why are chocolate buttons rude?
Because they are Smarties in the nude.

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
Wi’ Jammin

What does Bob Marley say to his friends when he buys doughnuts?
Hope you like Jammin too.

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it.

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Nothing. It just let out a little wine.

Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
Because he couldn’t concentrate.

What did the inflatable teacher at the inflatable school say to the inflatable child caught holding a pin?
You let me down, you let your friends down, you let your school down but most of all… you let yourself down.

What’s ET short for?
Because he’s only got little legs.

And if you've too much time on your hands today or just love festive trivia - here's the history of the Great British cracker

UPDATE - Plato has just seen this on PoliticalBetting - brilliantly terrible

"A Brummie goes for a job interview wearing a polyester shirt, bright flares and big boots. The interviewer says “All you need now is a kipper tie.” The Brummie replies, “That would be love-lay, two sugars, ploise.”