Play it here - hiliariously addictive http://forcesofhell.com/
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
URGH - Feel sorry for Gordon Part 94
Plato will be popping off for a good wash after posting this - is there any low vote-grubbing that Gordon The Courageous won't stoop too?
And if you've missed the speculation - General Election being called for late March is back up there.
"Gordon Brown’s rebranding efforts continued apace today with another emotional interview focusing on his family life.
A few days after the Prime Minister was broadcast speaking movingly about the death of his first-born child, he told a supermarket magazine about his other children’s birthdays and the death of his mother.
Mr Brown’s closest advisors including Lord Mandelson, Ed Balls and David Muir have succeeded in encouraging him to display a softer side.
In the latest personal interview, the Prime Minister revealed that his sons exchange birthday cards with Nelson Mandela and his wife Graca. He said the former South African president was “the most amazing man”.
Youngest son Fraser, three, celebrates his birthday a day before Mr Mandela while John, six, shares a birthday with Graca - “so they send each other cards,” Mr Brown explained. [ Do you believe this ?? Ed ]
The Prime Minister also said he tries to “keep in touch” with Mr Mandela and spoke to him on his birthday last year.
In the interview ahead of the Tesco magazine Mum of the Year awards [ WTF?, Ed ], Mr Brown described how the death of his mother in 2004 affected him.
“You don’t quite realise how much you depended on her until she’s not there,” he said. “Your mother is so central to everything that you are, as well as what you do and how you behave, that it’s very difficult to contemplate life without her.
“Even when my mother was old and finding it difficult to do things, she was always there to talk to and always thinking about how her son was getting on. So when your mother dies it’s the end of an era.
“With her gone you feel a part of what you are has been taken from you too. But the good thing is that a mum’s influence lives on in you.”
He added: “I think she taught me a lot more than I ever acknowledged and you can acknowledge now more easily I think. Never lie or cheat, always do what you consider the right thing and always be dignified in all that you do, and I think that was part of her family upbringing too.”
Mr Brown also said his wife Sarah was a “brilliant” mother. “I can’t begin to say how proud and grateful I am because it just couldn’t happen without her,” he said. [ What you mean all this crying in public and being introduced by her at your party conference in a feeble attempt to pretend you aren't Gordo vs 2.134? Ed ]
And if you've missed the speculation - General Election being called for late March is back up there.
"Gordon Brown’s rebranding efforts continued apace today with another emotional interview focusing on his family life.
A few days after the Prime Minister was broadcast speaking movingly about the death of his first-born child, he told a supermarket magazine about his other children’s birthdays and the death of his mother.
Mr Brown’s closest advisors including Lord Mandelson, Ed Balls and David Muir have succeeded in encouraging him to display a softer side.
In the latest personal interview, the Prime Minister revealed that his sons exchange birthday cards with Nelson Mandela and his wife Graca. He said the former South African president was “the most amazing man”.
Youngest son Fraser, three, celebrates his birthday a day before Mr Mandela while John, six, shares a birthday with Graca - “so they send each other cards,” Mr Brown explained. [ Do you believe this ?? Ed ]
The Prime Minister also said he tries to “keep in touch” with Mr Mandela and spoke to him on his birthday last year.
In the interview ahead of the Tesco magazine Mum of the Year awards [ WTF?, Ed ], Mr Brown described how the death of his mother in 2004 affected him.
“You don’t quite realise how much you depended on her until she’s not there,” he said. “Your mother is so central to everything that you are, as well as what you do and how you behave, that it’s very difficult to contemplate life without her.
“Even when my mother was old and finding it difficult to do things, she was always there to talk to and always thinking about how her son was getting on. So when your mother dies it’s the end of an era.
“With her gone you feel a part of what you are has been taken from you too. But the good thing is that a mum’s influence lives on in you.”
He added: “I think she taught me a lot more than I ever acknowledged and you can acknowledge now more easily I think. Never lie or cheat, always do what you consider the right thing and always be dignified in all that you do, and I think that was part of her family upbringing too.”
Mr Brown also said his wife Sarah was a “brilliant” mother. “I can’t begin to say how proud and grateful I am because it just couldn’t happen without her,” he said. [ What you mean all this crying in public and being introduced by her at your party conference in a feeble attempt to pretend you aren't Gordo vs 2.134? Ed ]
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Don't Vote Party Wins
Plato was reminded of this earlier today and thought her readers would enjoy this little trip down memory lane... Gordon and the election that never was, turnout and the floating voter...
The BRITS remembered
Plato has never forgotten watching the 1989 BRITS and thinking WTF? If you never saw the worst and most hilarious awards show evah - get your popcorn out.
Sam Fox didn't put her contact lenses in, the artists are announced in the wrong order and on and on...it's worth watching every segment - you won't be disappointed....
Sam Fox didn't put her contact lenses in, the artists are announced in the wrong order and on and on...it's worth watching every segment - you won't be disappointed....
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Sex with Gordon Brown?
Would you jump into bed with the Prime Minister?
Thought not, here's a hilarious poll about the use of sex toys, gigolos, paying for sex and virginity - all based on voting intention...
"Sex and politics go hand in hand, from unsettling mental images of Edwina Curry and John Major, to unsettling mental images of Lembit Opik and an endless parade of Q-list celebrities, to unsettling mental images of David Mellor and anyone at all.
However, an in-depth look into the sexual lives of the people who support those parties has, thus far, been sadly lacking. Do you want to know what percentage of Conservative voters have paid for sex, or when the average SNP supporter lost his or her virginity? Of course you do. So read on.
Straight down the line
Voters' sexuality divides along party lines much as you might expect, with Conservative voters most likely to be, or claim to be, heterosexual (93 per cent), followed by Labour (92 per cent) and the Liberal Democrats (89 per cent). Liberal Democrats are also the most adventurous, with six per cent describing themselves as bisexual – twice the percentage of the other two main parties – and four per cent of those describing themselves as heterosexual admitting to having had sexual intercourse with a member of the same sex.
'Til death us do part
For all that Labour have been accused of undermining the institution of marriage by allowing civil partnerships for gay couples, their voters are in fact the most likely to be married, with 56 per cent having tied the knot, and the least likely to be co-habiting outside of marriage, at just 12 per cent. Conservative voters are both less likely to be married and more likely to be living with their partner than Labour voters, at 50 per cent and 13 per cent respectively. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Liberal Democrats – being liberal – are by far the least likely to be married (44 per cent) and the most likely to be co-habiting (16 per cent).
Virgin on the ridiculous
Of the three main parties, the Lib Dems are far more experienced in sexual matters than they are in governing. The mean age they lost their virginity was just 18.08 years, nearly six months younger than either Labour voters or Conservatives, although in a strange twist they were also more than twice as likely not to have lost it at all (seven per cent, compared to three for the Tories and Labour). Interestingly Labour voters were more likely to lose theirs below the age of consent – six per cent having their first sexual experience between the ages of 13 and 14.
The lady's not for turning
While Labour voters' choice of sexual position is split three ways (so to speak) between missionary, “doggy-style” and woman-on-top (23 per cent each), Conservatives' clear favourite (27 per cent) is woman-on-top. Whether this is a hangover from the Thatcher years is not clear from the data.
It's business, it's business time
If it's instant gratification you're after, Labour voters are the place to go. One in 20 (five per cent) say that they expect to have sex on the first date, compared to three per cent of Lib Dems and a meagre two per cent of the frosty Conservatives. Going out with a Liberal Democrat could be a frustrating experience: one-third (33 per cent) will make you wait until the fifth date or – if you can imagine such a torment – even longer.
Coming clean
If you like a lady to scream your name, go out with a Labour voter; 40 per cent of Labour-voting women always have an orgasm when they have sex. We have no way of showing with the data which way the causal arrow points, or we would suggest women vote Labour simply in order to get their rocks off.
Toy story
Those kinky Lib Dems – a whopping 30 per cent own their very own sex toy, compared to just 22 and 24 per cent of Tory and Labour voters respectively. That said, three per cent of Conservatives “prefer not to say”, which is surely just being coy.
Leader of the pack
Hilariously – yet somehow inevitably – not one single non-Labour-voting woman would like to have sex with Gordon Brown. Even among Labour voters Brown only picks up one per cent, while a startling 11 per cent of Tory women would like to jump David Cameron's well-upholstered bones. Labour voters are more likely to sleep with the Old Etonian enemy, with a four per cent score-rate for Cameron. Nick Clegg gets three per cent from the conservatives, 2% from Labour, and five per cent of Lib Dem voters. The least surprising statistic is that the option “None of the above” gets a 90 per cent average score.
Lib Dem voters know good sex
The most vital stat of the lot: a huge 65 per cent of Liberal Democrat women voters have watched Sex and the City, while Labour and the Conservatives are neck-and-neck on 47 per cent.
Porn on the Fourth of July
Tessa Jowell's husband is far from alone. 52 per cent of Labour voters admit to watching pornography, compared to just 46 per cent of Lib Dems and 43 per cent of Conservatives (although again the Tories score highest on the prefer-not-to-say scale 5%; where's Jeremy Paxman when you need him?). What percentage put the cost on taxpayer-funded expense accounts is unclear.
Pros and Cons(ervatives)
Of the three main parties, the Tories are the most likely to have paid for sex, with seven per cent having handed over money to a Soho madam (or similar), compared to five per cent for Labour and the Lib Dems. So if your local councillor goes on a "fact-finding" trip to Amsterdam, you know why.
Find out more about the sex lives of the nation in the Stella Sex Survey 2010 .
The Stella Sex Survey 2010 was conducted exclusively for Stella by YouGov plc. The 1843 respondents (898 men, 945 women) are a sample of British men and women aged 18+. They completed the online survey between 15-18th Jan 2010. The question 'do you use pornography?' was asked to a sample size of 2520 on 18-19 Jan 2010; the question 'how many sexual partners have you had?' was asked to a sample size of 2013 on 22-25 Jan 2010 due to running the questions on different survey. "
Thought not, here's a hilarious poll about the use of sex toys, gigolos, paying for sex and virginity - all based on voting intention...
"Sex and politics go hand in hand, from unsettling mental images of Edwina Curry and John Major, to unsettling mental images of Lembit Opik and an endless parade of Q-list celebrities, to unsettling mental images of David Mellor and anyone at all.
However, an in-depth look into the sexual lives of the people who support those parties has, thus far, been sadly lacking. Do you want to know what percentage of Conservative voters have paid for sex, or when the average SNP supporter lost his or her virginity? Of course you do. So read on.
Straight down the line
Voters' sexuality divides along party lines much as you might expect, with Conservative voters most likely to be, or claim to be, heterosexual (93 per cent), followed by Labour (92 per cent) and the Liberal Democrats (89 per cent). Liberal Democrats are also the most adventurous, with six per cent describing themselves as bisexual – twice the percentage of the other two main parties – and four per cent of those describing themselves as heterosexual admitting to having had sexual intercourse with a member of the same sex.
'Til death us do part
For all that Labour have been accused of undermining the institution of marriage by allowing civil partnerships for gay couples, their voters are in fact the most likely to be married, with 56 per cent having tied the knot, and the least likely to be co-habiting outside of marriage, at just 12 per cent. Conservative voters are both less likely to be married and more likely to be living with their partner than Labour voters, at 50 per cent and 13 per cent respectively. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Liberal Democrats – being liberal – are by far the least likely to be married (44 per cent) and the most likely to be co-habiting (16 per cent).
Virgin on the ridiculous
Of the three main parties, the Lib Dems are far more experienced in sexual matters than they are in governing. The mean age they lost their virginity was just 18.08 years, nearly six months younger than either Labour voters or Conservatives, although in a strange twist they were also more than twice as likely not to have lost it at all (seven per cent, compared to three for the Tories and Labour). Interestingly Labour voters were more likely to lose theirs below the age of consent – six per cent having their first sexual experience between the ages of 13 and 14.
The lady's not for turning
While Labour voters' choice of sexual position is split three ways (so to speak) between missionary, “doggy-style” and woman-on-top (23 per cent each), Conservatives' clear favourite (27 per cent) is woman-on-top. Whether this is a hangover from the Thatcher years is not clear from the data.
It's business, it's business time
If it's instant gratification you're after, Labour voters are the place to go. One in 20 (five per cent) say that they expect to have sex on the first date, compared to three per cent of Lib Dems and a meagre two per cent of the frosty Conservatives. Going out with a Liberal Democrat could be a frustrating experience: one-third (33 per cent) will make you wait until the fifth date or – if you can imagine such a torment – even longer.
Coming clean
If you like a lady to scream your name, go out with a Labour voter; 40 per cent of Labour-voting women always have an orgasm when they have sex. We have no way of showing with the data which way the causal arrow points, or we would suggest women vote Labour simply in order to get their rocks off.
Toy story
Those kinky Lib Dems – a whopping 30 per cent own their very own sex toy, compared to just 22 and 24 per cent of Tory and Labour voters respectively. That said, three per cent of Conservatives “prefer not to say”, which is surely just being coy.
Leader of the pack
Hilariously – yet somehow inevitably – not one single non-Labour-voting woman would like to have sex with Gordon Brown. Even among Labour voters Brown only picks up one per cent, while a startling 11 per cent of Tory women would like to jump David Cameron's well-upholstered bones. Labour voters are more likely to sleep with the Old Etonian enemy, with a four per cent score-rate for Cameron. Nick Clegg gets three per cent from the conservatives, 2% from Labour, and five per cent of Lib Dem voters. The least surprising statistic is that the option “None of the above” gets a 90 per cent average score.
Lib Dem voters know good sex
The most vital stat of the lot: a huge 65 per cent of Liberal Democrat women voters have watched Sex and the City, while Labour and the Conservatives are neck-and-neck on 47 per cent.
Porn on the Fourth of July
Tessa Jowell's husband is far from alone. 52 per cent of Labour voters admit to watching pornography, compared to just 46 per cent of Lib Dems and 43 per cent of Conservatives (although again the Tories score highest on the prefer-not-to-say scale 5%; where's Jeremy Paxman when you need him?). What percentage put the cost on taxpayer-funded expense accounts is unclear.
Pros and Cons(ervatives)
Of the three main parties, the Tories are the most likely to have paid for sex, with seven per cent having handed over money to a Soho madam (or similar), compared to five per cent for Labour and the Lib Dems. So if your local councillor goes on a "fact-finding" trip to Amsterdam, you know why.
Find out more about the sex lives of the nation in the Stella Sex Survey 2010 .
The Stella Sex Survey 2010 was conducted exclusively for Stella by YouGov plc. The 1843 respondents (898 men, 945 women) are a sample of British men and women aged 18+. They completed the online survey between 15-18th Jan 2010. The question 'do you use pornography?' was asked to a sample size of 2520 on 18-19 Jan 2010; the question 'how many sexual partners have you had?' was asked to a sample size of 2013 on 22-25 Jan 2010 due to running the questions on different survey. "
Tears for Piers - the verdict
"The first polling data on how voters are reacting to Gordon Brown’s interview with Piers Morgan is now in. Results suggest that sympathy for the Prime Minster has increased, but that there is marginally less respect.
After watching a preview clip containing highlights of the interview (including the section when Brown became tearful talking about the death of his daughter), just under a third (thirty per cent) of voters said they had more sympathy for Brown – almost twice as many as the proportion saying they had less sympathy for him (seventeen per cent).
But almost a quarter of voters (twenty four per cent) said they had less respect for Brown after viewing the clip – a slightly larger proportion than those who said they had more respect for the Prime Minister.
PoliticsHome interviewed 1,067 adults by email between 12-15 February 2010. Results are weighted by age, gender and political party identification to reflect the population of Great Britain. Data tables are available on request. "
http://www.politicshome.com/uk/article/5683/voters_react_to_brown_interview_more_sympathy_less_respect.html
Billions and billions
The next time you hear a politician use the Word ‘ billion ‘ in a casual manner, think about whether you want the ‘politicians’ spending YOUR tax money.
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, But one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.
A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
B billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
C billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
D billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
E. A billion Pounds ago was only 13 hours and 12 minutes at the rate our government is spending it.
Makes Plato love Gordon even more than ever...
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, But one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.
A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
B billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
C billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
D billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
E. A billion Pounds ago was only 13 hours and 12 minutes at the rate our government is spending it.
Makes Plato love Gordon even more than ever...
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Labour's new voters
Plato is depressed : (
Just read this small extract to understand why...
"...the Government had "both economic and social objectives for immigration policy"; the benefits included "a widening of consumer choice and significant cultural contributions"; entry controls, on the other hand, "can contribute to social exclusion"; and, most devastating of all, the previous policy of curbing immigration had "no economic or social justification". [Ed, read that sentence again - isn't it meant to be a great thing, that's what we've been told for yrs...]
John Major on Gordon Brown: 'Britain must be put first' Here, at last, is the truth of what the Government really thought about immigration but never dared tell the electorate. There was also, for Labour, a handy political spin-off. Research by the Electoral Commission into the 2005 general election showed immigrants voted for Labour by overwhelming margins. Very convenient..."
Read the rest here.
Just read this small extract to understand why...
"...the Government had "both economic and social objectives for immigration policy"; the benefits included "a widening of consumer choice and significant cultural contributions"; entry controls, on the other hand, "can contribute to social exclusion"; and, most devastating of all, the previous policy of curbing immigration had "no economic or social justification". [Ed, read that sentence again - isn't it meant to be a great thing, that's what we've been told for yrs...]
John Major on Gordon Brown: 'Britain must be put first' Here, at last, is the truth of what the Government really thought about immigration but never dared tell the electorate. There was also, for Labour, a handy political spin-off. Research by the Electoral Commission into the 2005 general election showed immigrants voted for Labour by overwhelming margins. Very convenient..."
Read the rest here.
Labour's Death Tax
Earlier today there was news that Labour might introduce a £20,000 charge on estates in order to pay for a new 'National Care Service'.
WTF??
Here's the Tories response:
"The Conservatives have launched a poster attacking Labour's 'death tax':
As well as online the poster is already up on eighteen poster sites across London.
Earlier, Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury Philip Hammond commented:
"Gordon Brown has a track record of saying 'no new taxes' before an election, and then raising them by stealth after it. Labour are now secretly planning another tax - a death tax - to pay for this unfunded, ill-thought out plan for social care.
When you die, a Labour Government would take £20,000 from what you leave to your children and family.
For those with the most modest savings Labour's plans could leave them with nothing. In contrast we want to help people in old age so that they can leave as much of their lifetime's savings as possible to the next generation. We will offer people the chance to pay a one off premium of £8,000 into a voluntary scheme to cover the cost of residential care in old age. So under our plans no-one would be forced to sell their home to pay for care."
Labour's Death Tax
Earlier today there was news that Labour might introduce a £20,000 charge on estates in order to pay for a new 'National Care Service'.
WTF??
Here's the Tories response:
"The Conservatives have launched a poster attacking Labour's 'death tax':
As well as online the poster is already up on eighteen poster sites across London.
Earlier, Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury Philip Hammond commented:
"Gordon Brown has a track record of saying 'no new taxes' before an election, and then raising them by stealth after it. Labour are now secretly planning another tax - a death tax - to pay for this unfunded, ill-thought out plan for social care.
When you die, a Labour Government would take £20,000 from what you leave to your children and family.
For those with the most modest savings Labour's plans could leave them with nothing. In contrast we want to help people in old age so that they can leave as much of their lifetime's savings as possible to the next generation. We will offer people the chance to pay a one off premium of £8,000 into a voluntary scheme to cover the cost of residential care in old age. So under our plans no-one would be forced to sell their home to pay for care."
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Zithers
Plato's Mum and Dad brought a zither home from one of their many foreign trips in the 70s - as well as a guitar made from a tortoise... and a lot of questionable African 'tribal' art that seemed over-represented with Easter Island style statues with enormous breasts [perhaps Dr Pachauri would be interested...]
If you're thinking WTF is a zither - enjoy a master at work
If you're thinking WTF is a zither - enjoy a master at work
Friday, February 5, 2010
The penny has dropped
The BBC have just published details of a poll conducted by Populus that shows a big drop in belief in AGW - here's the polling data
And here's an excerpt from their report:
"'Exaggerated risks'
Of the 75% of respondents who agreed that climate change was happening, one-in-three people felt that the potential consequences of living in a warming world had been exaggerated, up from one-in-five people in November.
The number of people who felt the risks of climate change had been understated dropped from 38% in November to 25% in the latest poll.
During the intervening period between the two polls, there was a series of high profile climate-related stories, some of which made grim reading for climate scientists and policymakers.
In November, the contents of emails stolen from a leading climate science unit led to accusations that a number of researchers had manipulated data.
And in January, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) admitted that it had made a mistake in asserting that Himalayan glaciers could disappear by 2035.
All of this happened against the backdrop of many parts of the northern hemisphere being gripped by a prolonged period of sub-zero temperatures.
However, 73% of the people who said that they were aware of the "science flaws" stories stated that the media coverage had not changed their views about the risks of climate change.
"People tend to make judgements over time based on a whole range of different sources," Mr Simmonds explained.
He added that it was very unusual for single events to have a dramatic impact on public opinion.
"Normally, people make their minds up over a longer period and are influenced by all the voices they hear, what they read and what people they know are talking about."
So - media coverage is helping, but word of mouth is making a big difference too [I know from my own friends what impact a few simple facts can have]. Opinion has shifted massively away from AGW... great news - the door is unlocked, all we have to do now is push it wide open.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Embarrassing moments No 94
Plato really dislikes Mr Chris Huhne - the Liberal Democrat MP for Eastleigh - who happens to have a vanishingly small majority of 568.
For readers who are struggling to think who he is - just think of a really smug multi-millionaire with too many homes to count who bought a trouser press on expenses [the one on the left, Ed].
A wag described him as being as rich as Creases : D
Now - Plato isn't too keen on John Sopel either, but she blew him a big kiss for this excellent ambush.
She never knew that Calamity Clegg was coined by Mr Huhne as part of his bid for leadership of their Party...
Bores at the BBC have disabled embedding - so watch this hilarious and embarrassing spat here.
Many thanks to johnno for the tip
Many thanks to johnno for the tip
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