Plato does love a bit of dressing room pep-talk, and with that in mind, she thought her readers would enjoy this. Harlequins are clearly fans of Ancient Rome...
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Time Machine
Plato does love a good General Election. 1979 was a corking one - and she doesn't just mean the result.
Have a gander at this coverage courtesy of BBC Parliament - Robin Day smoking a giant cigar on the set is just the start - the presenters and commentators are hilarious.
And the famous Swingometer is almost spot on.
Let's hope the BBC manage something of this quality... some hope...
Have a gander at this coverage courtesy of BBC Parliament - Robin Day smoking a giant cigar on the set is just the start - the presenters and commentators are hilarious.
And the famous Swingometer is almost spot on.
Let's hope the BBC manage something of this quality... some hope...
Sunday, January 24, 2010
1997 and all that
Plato's attention has been drawn to a toe-curling edition of Spitting Image - Mandy The Snake is mesmerizing. If only we'd known what we were electing...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Obama meets Hilter
Plato's never seen a funny Downfall about US politics, until this - quite brilliant.
If you're not a follower of last night's election to find a new Senator after the death of Ted Kennedy [Mr Many Skeletons], the result that someone called Scott Brown, a Republican - won is probably a so-what moment...it's not.
Massachusetts is like Bootle in electoral terms - it's been a Democrat state since JFK was it's Senator - yes that long ago. His brother Ted was Senator for 47 yrs.
It is almost impossible to overstate just how huge a win this is.
Massachusetts has all its 10 congressmen Democrats, both US Senators Democrats, all statewide elected office holders Democrats, and 175 out of 200 state house members Democrats.
It was the ONLY state that stayed Democrat when Nixon's Republicans took ALL the others.
Seismic.
If you're not a follower of last night's election to find a new Senator after the death of Ted Kennedy [Mr Many Skeletons], the result that someone called Scott Brown, a Republican - won is probably a so-what moment...it's not.
Massachusetts is like Bootle in electoral terms - it's been a Democrat state since JFK was it's Senator - yes that long ago. His brother Ted was Senator for 47 yrs.
It is almost impossible to overstate just how huge a win this is.
Massachusetts has all its 10 congressmen Democrats, both US Senators Democrats, all statewide elected office holders Democrats, and 175 out of 200 state house members Democrats.
It was the ONLY state that stayed Democrat when Nixon's Republicans took ALL the others.
Seismic.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
If you missed it...
Peter Watt knifed Gordon very politely on the Andrew Marr show
7-ish mins worthwhile investing in [shurely you mean 'spending' ? Ed]
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00q2v1p/b00q2txt/The_Andrew_Marr_Show_17_01_2010/
7-ish mins worthwhile investing in [shurely you mean 'spending' ? Ed]
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00q2v1p/b00q2txt/The_Andrew_Marr_Show_17_01_2010/
LOL
Dear Honorary Platonians,
Your Supreme Queen has guffawed more in the last 30 mins than ever.
She'd forgotten how funny and risque Have I Got News For You used to be...
And then she tripped across this one - Boris Yelstin and Bill Clinton take the piss, Adam Boulton has almost every New Labour luvvy at his wedding and it goes on and on. It's comedy gold worthy of an Oscar.
Even if you have life - set 30 mins aside for this - truly magnificent.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b007cly1/Have_I_Got_News_for_You_Series_33_Episode_3/
Your Supreme Queen has guffawed more in the last 30 mins than ever.
She'd forgotten how funny and risque Have I Got News For You used to be...
And then she tripped across this one - Boris Yelstin and Bill Clinton take the piss, Adam Boulton has almost every New Labour luvvy at his wedding and it goes on and on. It's comedy gold worthy of an Oscar.
Even if you have life - set 30 mins aside for this - truly magnificent.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b007cly1/Have_I_Got_News_for_You_Series_33_Episode_3/
SNAP!
As regular readers will know, Plato is a bit of an animal lover. However, she's not sure that this choice of pet would be her cup of tea...
Can you guess what it is?
"...Mr Weller said the downstairs kitchen, bathroom and hallway were "neutral zones", for both him and Caesar.
"He eats meat and fish," Mr Weller said. "He really likes steaks and salmon, tuna and prawns. I get a lot of it from the supermarket, but it is only the budget ranges.
"He comes in the kitchen sometimes. When he is hungry, he will come when I call his name."
Mr Weller has installed a cat-flap device to allow Caesar to move between rooms. Although he can push the flap himself, for safety reasons an additional shutter is usually in place to control his movements.
"He can push the flap himself but he grunts at me when he wants me to open the shutter," Mr Weller added.
"When I first got him, he was a nightmare. He would take chunks out of me. It was quite painful and there was a bit of blood loss on occasions.
"Now he just lazes about. When I sit on the floor, he will put his head in my lap and I can stroke him. He's as good as gold..."
Can you guess what it is?
"...Mr Weller said the downstairs kitchen, bathroom and hallway were "neutral zones", for both him and Caesar.
"He eats meat and fish," Mr Weller said. "He really likes steaks and salmon, tuna and prawns. I get a lot of it from the supermarket, but it is only the budget ranges.
"He comes in the kitchen sometimes. When he is hungry, he will come when I call his name."
Mr Weller has installed a cat-flap device to allow Caesar to move between rooms. Although he can push the flap himself, for safety reasons an additional shutter is usually in place to control his movements.
"He can push the flap himself but he grunts at me when he wants me to open the shutter," Mr Weller added.
"When I first got him, he was a nightmare. He would take chunks out of me. It was quite painful and there was a bit of blood loss on occasions.
"Now he just lazes about. When I sit on the floor, he will put his head in my lap and I can stroke him. He's as good as gold..."
Yes a crocodile
Friday, January 15, 2010
I am Spartacus
Revenge of Mr Potato Head?
Plato did laugh heartily at this risible bit of media 'awareness' building... The Register has a great post about it.
Here's a taster:
"The Identity and Passport Service's hilariously triste efforts to make ID cards cuddly has passed another millstone (shurely 'milestone?' - Ed). As a follow-up to plastering its propaganda with happy fingerprints, IPS now has a flash animation of them as well - derived, weirdly, from a movie you might be familiar with.
With a cast of several, IPS, The Movie re-enacts that famous scene from Spartacus with talking fingerprints. Grief, what were they thinking?
An angry-looking mob of fingerprints jostles for position, each crying "I'm Spartacus!" These, presumably, are terrorist, ID and/or benefit-thieving fingerprints. Or possibly underage drinking fingerprints. Best round them up..."
Which MP is this?
Plato invites her readers to guess which MP has the following voting record as published at The Public Whip.
And what are the statistical probabilties of managing to miss every vote from June 1988 to Nov 2004?
[click to enlarge]
ANSWER: Gordon Brown. What a shining example is he to all those concerned with equality, not.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Mullahed by Andrew Neil
Plato is developing a crush on Andrew Neil - first he clobbered the numpties at the University of East Anglia, and now he's done probably the funniest and most un-PC interview of the last few years with Mr Choudary of lager-swilling/womanising fame who transformed himself into a Sharia loving big beard.
Watch the spat here - Mr Neil keeps asking Mr Choudary [a trained and able bodied lawyer] why he is scrounging off the UK taxpayer when he clearly doesn't think much of their culture or country.
Vintage stuff.
Mr Choudary was outed on Newsnight too - why he's being given so much attention is beyond her.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Failed your MOT?
Dear Honorary Platonians,
Your Supreme Queen would like to award the Freedom of Capricornia to Martin Rosenbaum. Who he?
Mr Rosenbaum (FOC) is the excellent and most irritatingly persistent Freedom of Information reporter at the BBC.
He's just managed to extract from the VOSA [that quango that demands you pay a fine if you don't tell them that your car is on-bricks] all the MOT failure data going back years and years.
Now, you may be wondering why it took an FOI campaign to get such obviously interesting and pro-consumer information released... bizarrely, VOSA refused to publish the data on the basis that it could "mislead the public".
Mislead? How can data on MOT failure rates by vehicle make and model do that? Sure some people will flog a car or van into the ground without it ever seeing a spanner - but is this really true for say your average Vauxhall or Peugeot driver?
Now, this wasn't the only reason VOSA gave. They do say that the real reason for a decision or opinion is usually the second one - and here it is:
"The release of information relating to specific make and model would be likely to be commercially damaging to vehicle manufacturers whose failure rates appear higher, and therefore less favourable, than other manufacturers...this information would be likely to be used by some manufacturers to gain a competitive advantage, for example by publicising that their failure rate is lower than another manufacturer's failure rate for a comparable vehicle model."
Erm, surely it's in everyone's interest to know which manufacturers have crap reliability and which don't - and for an element of competition to be introduced based on the MOT rate seems like an excellent idea since they're compulsory...
But still, in the spirit of Professor Phil Jones of University of East Anglia fame - once VOSA felt compelled to release the data, they came up with that familiar wheeze of sticking it into a PDF - all 1200 pages of it - because it would take 'several days' to publish it in a nice convenient format like a spreadsheet.
What sort of crap is this? It didn't start life as a PDF - and frankly Plato would be very surprised if VOSA used Dead Sea Scrollsoft v3.02 to create the original database [perhaps Harry could write them a Hide-The-Decline programme for manufacturers at the top of the failure list]. So it's really handy that Mr Rosenbaum had a copy of Excel handy and converted it from his office chair instead.
Here it is - http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/opensecrets/MOT_Make_Model_Comp_2007.xls
Your Supreme Queen would like to award the Freedom of Capricornia to Martin Rosenbaum. Who he?
Mr Rosenbaum (FOC) is the excellent and most irritatingly persistent Freedom of Information reporter at the BBC.
He's just managed to extract from the VOSA [that quango that demands you pay a fine if you don't tell them that your car is on-bricks] all the MOT failure data going back years and years.
Now, you may be wondering why it took an FOI campaign to get such obviously interesting and pro-consumer information released... bizarrely, VOSA refused to publish the data on the basis that it could "mislead the public".
Mislead? How can data on MOT failure rates by vehicle make and model do that? Sure some people will flog a car or van into the ground without it ever seeing a spanner - but is this really true for say your average Vauxhall or Peugeot driver?
Now, this wasn't the only reason VOSA gave. They do say that the real reason for a decision or opinion is usually the second one - and here it is:
"The release of information relating to specific make and model would be likely to be commercially damaging to vehicle manufacturers whose failure rates appear higher, and therefore less favourable, than other manufacturers...this information would be likely to be used by some manufacturers to gain a competitive advantage, for example by publicising that their failure rate is lower than another manufacturer's failure rate for a comparable vehicle model."
Erm, surely it's in everyone's interest to know which manufacturers have crap reliability and which don't - and for an element of competition to be introduced based on the MOT rate seems like an excellent idea since they're compulsory...
But still, in the spirit of Professor Phil Jones of University of East Anglia fame - once VOSA felt compelled to release the data, they came up with that familiar wheeze of sticking it into a PDF - all 1200 pages of it - because it would take 'several days' to publish it in a nice convenient format like a spreadsheet.
What sort of crap is this? It didn't start life as a PDF - and frankly Plato would be very surprised if VOSA used Dead Sea Scrollsoft v3.02 to create the original database [perhaps Harry could write them a Hide-The-Decline programme for manufacturers at the top of the failure list]. So it's really handy that Mr Rosenbaum had a copy of Excel handy and converted it from his office chair instead.
Here it is - http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/opensecrets/MOT_Make_Model_Comp_2007.xls
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
AGW is linked to piracy - or perhaps not
This is really interesting [if you're as sad as Plato is and loves a good graph].
See how a chart can say almost anything at all...
See how a chart can say almost anything at all...
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Back to the Future No 94.
Recession, unemployment, estate agents going out of business, people losing their homes?
Pensioners selling up to pay for their care?
Those evil Tories have a lot to answer for since Gordon has been in charge of the purse-strings. Even Dr Who says so...
hat-tip to MB from PoliticalBetting.com
Pensioners selling up to pay for their care?
Those evil Tories have a lot to answer for since Gordon has been in charge of the purse-strings. Even Dr Who says so...
hat-tip to MB from PoliticalBetting.com
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
So who's for Gordon?
Well, what a bizarre day so far!
According to Mr Fink, here's the list of Gordon's colleagues who have expressed something [Mandy's couldn't be more non-commital if he tried]
"Who's coming out for and against Brown?
Andy Burnham (Health) - Has issued a statement in support of Brown. "My support remains with the Prime Minister. I do not support the secret ballot."
... And said:
"They've misjudged the mood on this one. This wil be gone as quickly as it's arrived.
"It's frustrating: Gordon demolished David Cameron in PMQs today and he's had the better of David Cameron at PMQs for a while now. We were beginning to make inroads, the Tories were beginning to wobble"
Shaun Woodward (Northern Ireland) - Has just been on the Beeb backing Brown.
John Healey (Housing) - Has told Paul Waugh:
“I think most Labour MPs and most Labour party members will think that this is the last thing we need. We have started to see before, over and since Christmas - and again at PMQs today - Gordon Brown hitting his stride and David Cameron is rattled.”
Peter Mandelson (Business) - His spokesman:
"No one should over-react to this initiative. It is not led by members of the government. No one has resigned from the government.
"The prime minister continues to have the support of his colleagues and we should carry on government business as usual."
Thin on Gordon praise though, isn't it?
Ed Balls (Schools) - "Gordon Brown is the best leader to take us into the election and the best person to take Britain through the recession...
"Peter Mandelson put it very well: the cabinet is united behind Gordon Brown. We can win the argument at the ballot box. This week has been a very good week for the Labour government."
Alistair Darling (Chancellor)
Jack Straw (Justice)
Nick Brown (Chief Whip)
Harriet Harman (Commons)
Ben Bradshaw (Culture)
Bob Ainsworth (Defence)
Douglas Alexander (Development)
Ed Miliband (Energy and climate)
Tessa Jowell (Cabinet Office)
Hilary Benn (Environment)
David Miliband (Foreign Secretary)
Alan Johnson (Home Secretary)
Baroness Royal of Blaisdon (Lords Leader)
John Denham (Community)
Lord Adonis (Transport)
Liam Byrne (Treasury)
Yvette Cooper (Work and Pensions)
Peter Hain (Wales)
Jim Murphy (Scotland)
According to Mr Fink, here's the list of Gordon's colleagues who have expressed something [Mandy's couldn't be more non-commital if he tried]
"Who's coming out for and against Brown?
Andy Burnham (Health) - Has issued a statement in support of Brown. "My support remains with the Prime Minister. I do not support the secret ballot."
... And said:
"They've misjudged the mood on this one. This wil be gone as quickly as it's arrived.
"It's frustrating: Gordon demolished David Cameron in PMQs today and he's had the better of David Cameron at PMQs for a while now. We were beginning to make inroads, the Tories were beginning to wobble"
Shaun Woodward (Northern Ireland) - Has just been on the Beeb backing Brown.
John Healey (Housing) - Has told Paul Waugh:
“I think most Labour MPs and most Labour party members will think that this is the last thing we need. We have started to see before, over and since Christmas - and again at PMQs today - Gordon Brown hitting his stride and David Cameron is rattled.”
Peter Mandelson (Business) - His spokesman:
"No one should over-react to this initiative. It is not led by members of the government. No one has resigned from the government.
"The prime minister continues to have the support of his colleagues and we should carry on government business as usual."
Thin on Gordon praise though, isn't it?
Ed Balls (Schools) - "Gordon Brown is the best leader to take us into the election and the best person to take Britain through the recession...
"Peter Mandelson put it very well: the cabinet is united behind Gordon Brown. We can win the argument at the ballot box. This week has been a very good week for the Labour government."
Alistair Darling (Chancellor)
Jack Straw (Justice)
Nick Brown (Chief Whip)
Harriet Harman (Commons)
Ben Bradshaw (Culture)
Bob Ainsworth (Defence)
Douglas Alexander (Development)
Ed Miliband (Energy and climate)
Tessa Jowell (Cabinet Office)
Hilary Benn (Environment)
David Miliband (Foreign Secretary)
Alan Johnson (Home Secretary)
Baroness Royal of Blaisdon (Lords Leader)
John Denham (Community)
Lord Adonis (Transport)
Liam Byrne (Treasury)
Yvette Cooper (Work and Pensions)
Peter Hain (Wales)
Jim Murphy (Scotland)
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Performance Related Pay at the Met Office
If you are holding a cup of tea or are about to take a swig of something stronger, Plato suggests that you put it down before continuing:
"According to a copy of the organisation’s latest annual report and accounts, John Hirst, the organisation’s chief executive, received between £195,000 and £200,000 in pay and bonuses in 2008/9.
The figure is a 25 per cent increase on the £155,000 to £160,000 "pay equivalent" for Mr Hirst in 2007/8. Mr Hirst had joined midway through the previous financial year in September 2007.
The remuneration package – which includes salary, performance pay, overtime and other allowances – is more than the £192,414 salary paid to Gordon Brown this year. Mr Brown receives £130,594 in Prime Minister’s salary, and £61,820 as MP for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath.
Seven other directors received pay rises of between 3 per cent and 33 per cent. The biggest rise went to Nick Jobling, the Met Office’s chief financial officer, whose total salary jumped by a third to up to £100,000. Campaigners said the payments were “jaw-dropping”.
The large pay rises for the management of the Met Office came despite a series of widely criticised forecasts, including a warm winter in 2009/10 last October..."
"According to a copy of the organisation’s latest annual report and accounts, John Hirst, the organisation’s chief executive, received between £195,000 and £200,000 in pay and bonuses in 2008/9.
The figure is a 25 per cent increase on the £155,000 to £160,000 "pay equivalent" for Mr Hirst in 2007/8. Mr Hirst had joined midway through the previous financial year in September 2007.
The remuneration package – which includes salary, performance pay, overtime and other allowances – is more than the £192,414 salary paid to Gordon Brown this year. Mr Brown receives £130,594 in Prime Minister’s salary, and £61,820 as MP for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath.
Seven other directors received pay rises of between 3 per cent and 33 per cent. The biggest rise went to Nick Jobling, the Met Office’s chief financial officer, whose total salary jumped by a third to up to £100,000. Campaigners said the payments were “jaw-dropping”.
The large pay rises for the management of the Met Office came despite a series of widely criticised forecasts, including a warm winter in 2009/10 last October..."
Monday, January 4, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Good Riddance
Dear Honorary Platonians,
I don't know about you - but Plato's had a truly crap last few years and is delighted to see the back of the Noughties.
It looked like they'd start out well judging by New Year's Eve 1999...
Plato got a new greyhound called Handsel and was amazed to discover that he was the long lost brother of one she'd just tragically lost to a heart attack.
Buoyed by this good karma, she then plucked up the courage to phone her estranged father - it was scary dialling the number, but if you can't bury the hatchet at the turn of the Millennium - frankly when can you?
They actually *gossiped* - for the first time - ever. That was when the *good* bit ended.
And then he got cancer, and died. Ho hum. And she got a speeding ticket on the 330 mile journey to his funeral...
And then her other half ran off with a work-experience student. That wasn't so bad - but it left her fucked financially.
Now that is normally quite enough bad news for anyone - but there's more than I care to recall and we've only got to 2002...
Fast-forward to 2009, and now her small business has been totally fucked by Labour's handling of the economy and she's thinking of selling up her house and starting all over again.
Plato normally hates 1st January - there's nothing much to look forward to, the fridge is full of things passed their sell-by date and the weather's crap.
This year - 2010 - is already a bit different.
There's a General Election and she'll be down at the polling station the moment it opens, it doesn't matter that it's a safe Tory seat and Cameron thinks AGW is for real [numpty]. She's going to thoroughly enjoy putting her little X in the box.
The fridge contains only edible things [it's amazing how much she doesn't shop when pennies are tight]
And the weather is perfect - crisp, with crystal clear skies and not a breath of wind.
Roll on 2010, as someone once said 'Things can only get better' :-D
I don't know about you - but Plato's had a truly crap last few years and is delighted to see the back of the Noughties.
It looked like they'd start out well judging by New Year's Eve 1999...
Plato got a new greyhound called Handsel and was amazed to discover that he was the long lost brother of one she'd just tragically lost to a heart attack.
Buoyed by this good karma, she then plucked up the courage to phone her estranged father - it was scary dialling the number, but if you can't bury the hatchet at the turn of the Millennium - frankly when can you?
They actually *gossiped* - for the first time - ever. That was when the *good* bit ended.
And then he got cancer, and died. Ho hum. And she got a speeding ticket on the 330 mile journey to his funeral...
And then her other half ran off with a work-experience student. That wasn't so bad - but it left her fucked financially.
Now that is normally quite enough bad news for anyone - but there's more than I care to recall and we've only got to 2002...
Fast-forward to 2009, and now her small business has been totally fucked by Labour's handling of the economy and she's thinking of selling up her house and starting all over again.
Plato normally hates 1st January - there's nothing much to look forward to, the fridge is full of things passed their sell-by date and the weather's crap.
This year - 2010 - is already a bit different.
There's a General Election and she'll be down at the polling station the moment it opens, it doesn't matter that it's a safe Tory seat and Cameron thinks AGW is for real [numpty]. She's going to thoroughly enjoy putting her little X in the box.
The fridge contains only edible things [it's amazing how much she doesn't shop when pennies are tight]
And the weather is perfect - crisp, with crystal clear skies and not a breath of wind.
Roll on 2010, as someone once said 'Things can only get better' :-D
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